Visit the author’s blog and Web site at:

totallyjoe.blogspot.com
josephdemarco.com
www.myspace.com/jrgdemarco

The Naked Traveler
by JRG DeMarco

In the heart of the Midwest, Indianapolis is sitting pretty and your visit to the Circle City will have you taking in some pretty sights of the naked sort. Whether you’re going for the Indy 500 or just to see the sights, Indianapolis will keep you busy. Indy has a great gay bookstore, Out Word Bound (owbbooks.com), which is a community resource as well as a place to pick up a good read. There’s also a film festival, pride events, and a thriving gay community with lots of activities and friendly, open people to make this a destination you’ll enjoy.

Lots of gay bars and clubs dot the city. There you’ll find those nakedly delicious, Midwestern, corn-fed hunks who are hankerin’ for some fun.

Start the night having dinner at the Metro Nightclub and Restaurant (metro-indy.com). This huge, two-floor establishment is a fun place to be. Dinner here is a hoot and the food’s not bad either. Drink specials enough to get you sloshed and not caring where you are make Metro a good place to begin imbibing. Metro’s fare includes shows, Sunday brunch, and a gift shop where you can get something different for your friends back home.

English Ivy’s (englishivys.com) is another gay eatery and here you’ll find food service that includes late night snacks. Some of Indy’s cutest waiters clock in at English Ivy’s, which will help work up your appetite. They also serve lunch and dinner and lots of fun. Like the Metro, it’s a friendly bar and a great place to meet locals.

Cosmos (indycosmos.com) is a great bar with lots of atmosphere. It’s cozy and the regulars are amiable. Cosmos has a knack for the unique, which patrons love. They’ve also got a gift shop where you can stock up on Cosmosgear which means some great t-shirts (they’ve even got t-shirts for your dog, so when you bring him home from the kennel after your trip, he’ll feel better about the ordeal), thermos mugs and more.

When you’re through eating and want to dance away some of those calories, head to Talbott Street (talbottstreet.com). Stylish and classy, Talbott’s has a gorgeous copper bar (which I’m sure takes a lot of work to keep shiny and spotless). It’s a sleek reminder that you’re in one of Indy’s hottest dance venues. You can shake off those calories with some of the hottest guys in town. And when you need a break, get up to the skybar, a cool, white lounge which overlooks the dance floor and gives you an opportunity to eye the crowd from above. For the Naked Traveler, the nights featuring The Men of Seduction (a Chicago stripper troupe) are the best times to go.

Plenty of other bars in the Circle City are equally entertaining and will offer you a good time. Gregs (gregsindiana.com) is a large, old establishment. But don’t let the word “old” fool you. Gregs keeps up with the times and is ever improving — like the upper level Den they just added, so that patrons will have more quiet spaces to talk, nuzzle, and whisper sweet nothings. You can also take some quiet time on the patio or you can join the raucous fun inside; from darts to dancing, Gregs has a lot to choose from.

The Varsity Lounge (thevarsitylounge.com) is a quiet neighborhood bar which claims to be the oldest gay bar in Indiana. Friendly employees, a convivial atmosphere and a great Saturday Brunch make this a relaxing place to cool your heels.

Probably the most popular brunch venue is Downtown Olly’s (downtownollys.com). A very congenial place, Olly’s employs some of the cutest guys in Indy, either working at the bar or in the restaurant. Drink specials will make your eyes pop and the food is great diner fare. Both the staff and the locals who frequent the place are welcoming to visitors and make your time there warm and comfortable. Olly’s is in the process of setting up an online store, so if you forget to buy a souvenir of your Indy vacation, you can get one online.

Of course, the Naked Traveler has saved one of the best bars for last: The Unicorn Club (unicornclub.com). Need you ask why this is a TNT fave? Strippers! Seven nights of strippers. And since Unicorn is a private club, meaning you’ll have to buy a membership, you’ll get to see more of the dancers than you might in a plain old club. It gets better. Unicorn has penny drink nights, so for a small entry fee (often $5) you get to buy beer and well drinks for a penny. No recession blues here. But don’t get yourself too hammered or you’ll miss the flesh onstage and in your face.

Once you’ve had enough pub crawling, you’ll be ready for one or both of the Circle City’s bathhouses. Indianapolis’s member of The Club chain (the-clubs.com) is hot. The facility features a full gym, a large outdoor pool for when the weather’s nice, steam room, dry sauna, Jacuzzi, a media lounge, lockers, rooms, personal trainers and more. And, of course, hot Midwestern hunks. On Sundays there’s a brunch buffet, and once a month there’s the ever popular Blackout Party — never mind just one dark room, it’s lights out in the whole place. They’ve just improved the xxx theater room, allowing visitors to have a more intimate and private experience. It’s all worth a visit.

There’s also The Works (theworksindy.com), a relaxing, comfortable place where you can take in some of Indiana’s naked sights. They have everything the bathhouse aficionado wants, including a full gym, a pleasant outdoor patio (weather permitting), lockers, steam, dry sauna, private rooms including some deluxe and video private rooms, and more. They go the distance for their guests and sponsor a Blackout Party every Saturday. Imagine, sauntering through the darkened byways of the Works and encountering some of the well-muscled farmboys that are to be found in this Midwestern capital. The Works even has a rewards card for frequent users. Every dollar buys points and every point gets you closer to some hot freebies.

Indianapolis may sound far away, but it’s a trip worth taking. You’ll find the Naked Traveler there again in the Fall exploring everything Indy has to offer (okay, maybe not everything, the Indy 500 isn’t on the list for this traveler, unless some of the drivers want to soak in the hot tub at the baths). Indianapolis is well worth a visit. You’ll meet some great locals, make some interesting discoveries, and maybe find a new spot to retreat to when you want to get away from the usual grind.

May 2009