A provocative paean to men with hair promises more than it delivers, coming in second to a parody of lesbian potboilers of the 1950s.

Hot ... Off the Press: Erotica in Print
by marq

HAIR
Hairy Men in Gay Art
Bruno Gmünder, $44, hard cover
(save $5 by using the link below)

Lovers of men with hair may be interested in HAIR: Hairy Men in Gay Art, recently issued by Germany's Bruno Gmünder. It's a hardcover volume measuring about 6x9 inches, crammed with 260 full color and duotone pages.

While the concept excited me enough to download the review materials, including a PFD of the finished work, the concept proved unexpectedly challenging to execute, with the editors opting for cumshots and hardons to carry their message.

Ron J. Suresha's introduction states the case for hair with a surprisingly bland lesson in biology and references to photographer Robert Mapplethorpe, whose works do not appear in the book. Suresha's conclusion, that "To love hair is human; to fur-give is divine" is pure silliness.

Lip service is paid to the 1960s and 1970s, with little by way of illustration or photography. The inclusion of drawings by Tom of Finland strikes me as pure pandering to readers. As wildly popular as he may be, Tom is not an artist one associates with body hair. In fact, my chief criticism of HAIR is that it can't decide who the audience is. While the drawings, paintings, comics and photographs all depict men with hair (some only on their faces), the hair often seems incidental to the hardons, bondage situations, spurting cocks, nipples tweaked into gumdrops, transvestism and other trappings of sexual fetishism.

If the medium is the message, the book's contents leave me as clueless as its introduction. I applaud the idea of celebrating hairy men, but HAIR offers an entirely different party.

Bobby Blanchard, Lesbian Gym Teacher
by Monica Nolan
Kensington, $15, trade pap.

Novelist Monica Nolan spoofs the lesbian potboilers of the fifties. After her successes with The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories and Lois Lenz, Lesbian Secretary, she gives us Bobby Blanchard, Lesbian Gym Teacher. Almost as much fun as reading Nolan is reading the lurid one-liners used to promote her tales: "She schooled them in field hockey … and desire."

The eponymous Bobby Blanchard is a champion field hockey player, permanently sidelined at the age of 26 by injuries sustained on the field. While undergoing physical rehab, she is persuaded to apply for a job as P.E. teacher, or "Games Mistress," at an exclusive all-girls boarding high school named Metamora Academy — note "amor" tucked in there.

As a product of two boarding high schools myself, both co-ed, I can vouch for the fact that they are hotbeds of homosex, chiefly among the teachers and staff. Nolan nails that one on the head. To the smoldering sexual tensions, Nolan adds a mystery. It seems that Miss Froelich, the last math mistress, recently deceased, met her demise by falling from the top of a tower on campus. An avid birdwatcher, said math mistress was tracking an elusive white-breasted nuthatch when she leaned too far over and lost her balance. But the girls say Miss Froelich's ghost never strays far from the sundial near where she landed, and that can only mean foul play. And can this be related to the odd behavior the headmistress, Miss Froelich's lover?

It's all grand fun as Bobby gets serially bedded by the women on the staff and — gasp — one of her students, too. Will Bobby find love? Will the mystery of Miss Froelich's death be explained? Will the girls on the field hockey team be able to control their heaving adolescent bosoms long enough to win the state championship? Gym class was never so much fun as this.

Naked Outdoor Boys 2011 Calendar
IslandStuds.com, $16
(save $1 by using the link below)

It's time for the new calendars and one of the first to cross my desk was this one, from the Island Studs website. The calendar measures 8.5x11 inches when unopened and offers "12 months of Nudist Guys Working, Playing & Stroking Naked. A sexy year of real raw amateur guys caught naked in the outdoors!" You can purchase the calendar using the link proved, or by calling 310-396-2949 or by visiting www.Fotofactory.com and clicking the Calendars link.