The 13th Annual Hard Choice Awards
(for films reviewed in 2006)
by Onan the Vulgarian
with Harley Shadow

Each year the choices seem more daunting and the selection process more challenging. In the performer category, Brett Matthews, Dean Monroe and Benjamin Bradley all had stellar years, turning out one faultless tryst after another. But in making my selection, I opted for a man whose contributions go conspicuously further than what he does with his body. Spencer Quest is a stage actor, a singer, a painter and a humanitarian, lending his time and talents to the betterment of the larger community as well as to the erotic entertainment of porn viewers.

The film choices were especially difficult, but I found myself returning again and again to Going Under, one film in which all the parts — music, videography, direction, acting, story and sex — were so individually good that it ended up on the top of the list.

The industry said farewell in 2006 to illustrious director Matt Sterling and to performers Andy Dill and Rocky, all of whose deaths occurred within days of each other in December. It also said farewell, in a different sense, to director Kevin Clarke, who announced his retirement, citing barebacking as one the reasons.

While on the subject of directors, I have to say that Hot House's Steven Scarborough reinvented himself in 2006. From seemingly effortless but erotically flawless vanilla masterpieces to complex and serious themes to no-hold barred nastiness, he surprised me again and again, showing not just versatility but the bold confidence of a director who knows what he wants to deliver and is at the peak of his professional powers to do it.

And no Hard Choice Awards would be complete without my usual idiosyncratic nods to particular moments in porn that instantly merit being considered timeless.

My pen salutes the winners and my dick salutes you all.

• Jason Harley and Rafael Alencar, Bar Trade, Studio 2000
• Brad Patton and Omer, Big Rig, Buckshot Productions
• Johnny Hazzard and Benjamin Bradley, Delinquents, All Worlds Video
• Park Wiley and Antonio Madeira, The Devil Inside, HIS Video
• Michael Lucas and Milan Gamiani, Encounters: The Point of No Return, Lucas Entertainment
• Derrick Vinyard and Jason Adonis, From Top to Bottom, Falcon Studios
• Nick Marino and Trey Casteel, Humping Iron, Raging Stallion
• Shane Rollins and Trevor Knight, Justice, Hot House
• Powell Keaton and Dominic Pacifico, Plowed, Factory Video
• Chris Clark and Ryan Lynch, Something Much Bigger, IOP Productions

Best Sex for 3 or More
Vin Nolan, Manuel Torres and Sergio Anthony; Manhattan, Raging Stallion Studios
(Hon. Mention: Carlo Masi, Luke Garrett and Gage Weston; Man Country, COLT Studio)

Best Oral Sex
Nick Horn, Nick Marino, Zackary Pierce; Knob Bobbin’, Rascal Video
(Hon. Mention: the cast of Black-N-Blue, Hot House)

Best Rimming
Antonio Madeira and Marcos Pirelli, The Devil Inside, HIS Video
(Hon. Mention: Jason Tiya and Mario Cruz, No Exit, Dark Alley Media)

Most Fuckable Boy in the World
Damon Phoenix

Best Music (3-way tie)
Rock Hard, Nicholas Pavkovic and Sharon Kane; Big Rig, Buckshot Productions
Rock Hard, Justice, Hot House
Mon Cousin Belge, theme song from The Velvet Mafia, Falcon Studios

Having a Blast! (cum shot)
Cole Ryan's no-hands gusher while getting rimmed by Zackary Pierce, Spy Quest 2, Titan
(Hon. Mention: the cast of Winner Takes All, All Worlds Video)

Best New Kids on the Block
Performer: Brant Moore
Director: Collin O'Neal
Studio: Fierce Dog

Best Solo
Kent North, At Your Service, Hot House
(Hon. Mention: Joey Russo, Escape From San Francisco, Raging Stallion Studios)

Rub Me the Right Way
Juan Jimenez jerks Rocky Oliveira to climax in a second-story window, showering the arriving guests with jism, Fire Dance, Kristen Bjorn

Best Mind Fuck
Cliff Rhodes' "heart-to-heart" with future son-in-law Colby Keller, Lifeguard: The Men of Deep Water Beach, Titan Media

Best Classic DVD
Screenplay, Bijou Video

Best Homage to Cleopatra
Mario Segovia gives Matthias Vannelli and Zeca Romeira a milk bath in the courtyard, Fire Dance, Kristen Bjorn

Savage Humor Award
Joe Gage's Godzilla homage in Titan's Deep Water Beach Patrol
(Hon Mention: The cross-stitched cover art for Raging Stallion's Hole Sweet Hole)

Best Buns
Zackary Pierce

Best Chest
Glenn Santoro

Deepest Throat
Derrick Hanson

Onan's Pantheon of Michelangelo Bodies
Claudio Antonelli, Shane Collins

Hottest Man on the Planet
Rocky Oliveira

Chance Erotic Moment
Zackary Pierce leaning in the doorway when he arrives to fix the water cooler, 2nd Inning: Little Big League II, Electro Video

Things They Didn't Teach You at School
The flogging technique used by Joe G., Folsom Filth, Titan Media