When Bears Attack
a review by Harley Shadow
rating
When Bears Attack Cast: Johnny Hazzard (www.HazzardXXX.com), Cole Ryder, Arpad Miklos (www.ArpadMiklos.net), Blake Nolan (www.BlakeNolanXXX.com), Damien, Manuel Torres (www.ManuelTorresXXX.com), Mick Powers (www.myspace.com/mickpowers), Nick Marino, Steve Cruz (www.SteveCruzXXX.com).
Directed by Chi Chi LaRue for Rascal Video.
Channel 1 Releasing, 8721 Santa Monica Blvd. #525, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Toll-free orders 800-997-9072. Internet www.C1R.com.
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In When Bears Attack, Johnny Hazzard gets away from it all. He escapes the hectic daily grind with a relaxing getaway to a cozy cabin in the woods. In this terrific tale by directed Chi Chi LaRue and written by Jake Barnes, Hazzard's hair is not a shade of gold, and the three bears played by Arpad Miklos, Nick Marino and Blake Nolan skip the beds and porridge, focusing their mauling on Hazzard's honeypot.
    After arriving at the cabin, Hazzard takes in nature by taking a deep breath of the fresh air, then takes in the breathtaking views, all of which get him to become one with nature and strip.
    Clothed or naked, Hazzard is as breathtaking as his surroundings. His jack-off scene is serene, genius and hot enough to make Mother Nature temporarily forget her duties. It's genius because he doesn't just sit there and beat off. He uses his seductive charms and glances while he and the camera explore his tattooed body. He also makes use of every single piece of the set (which happens to be an old pickup truck) that he can think of before laying on the roof of the truck and shooting his wad.
    The potent and intoxicating aroma of Hazzard's cum travels into the nostrils of three nearby bears (Miklos, Steve Cruz and Cole Ryder) walking through the forest in flannel shirts open to expose their muscular hairy chests, and jeans that hug their bear bottoms. They get a big whiff and immediately get so love-drunk off his jizz, they find Hazzard's pickup and frolic inside and outside of it.
    The trio sniff the truck, paw each other, and Cruz, the most eager bear, devours Miklos and Ryder's hairy chests and crotches before swallowing their rock hard cocks. After the three bears perform some intense deep-throating and ass eating, Cruz's hairy ass gets fucked by Miklos and Ryder.
    That night, Hazzard is reading a book in his quiet cabin while the bears, obviously in rut, are outside causing quite a ruckus. Hazzard gets up to check out this mysterious noise while chill-inducing music plays. He cautiously flings the door open to see a hockey-masked lunatic! No, really he opens it to find Miklos, Marino and Nolan shirtless with a powerful, aggressive and telltale gaze that screams they're ready to devour Hazzard's honeypot.
    During the film, especially during the orgy that ends the film where Miklos, Marino, Nolan, Damien, Manuel Torres and Mick Powers maul Hazzard, the models take on the persona of a bear. They snort and growl and paw their fellow models. It's a big turn-on to see these guys act, and not just lazily pretend to be a bear, or resort to barking "Woof!" Instead they bring out their animalistic alter egos using actions without muttering a word.
    As fantastic as this film is, there are a couple of minor distractions during the orgy. While getting fucked, the majority of the time Hazzard has his eyes closed as if he doesn't want to see the bears having their way with him. Johnny, open your eyes, you're missing a lot! I wouldn't even blink while having hot hairy men like Powers, Marino and Torres plow a hungry ass. Once Miklos and Nolan move in, Hazzard is bent over doggy-style eyes wide open.
    The other thing is that a lot of kissing, sucking and rimming take up the majority of the scene, leaving the gangbang on Hazard's ass coming up short. The edited fucking feels rushed with only five of the six bears getting a chance to tap his hairy hole. Despite great oral expertise, especially Torres rimming Marino's booty so good his hole relaxes and opens up, allowing Torres to tongue fuck him deep, that should've been edited to balance out the sex.
    Viewers will be glad to know that When Bears Attack is not a spoof of those silly Fox shows When Animals Attack! or Discovery Channel's Planet Earth. Instead, it's an impressive, sexy and well-acted film that may have audiences slathering themselves in honey or man-honey as the case may be, so that they may be lucky like Hazzard, and be devoured by hot bearish men.
    The DVD features PopShot-on-Demand, behind-the-scenes, Wrap It Up PSA, photo galleries, previews and Hazzard shaking what his mama gave him during a photo shoot.

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