Lord of Milking a review by Onan the Vulgarian Best of Phoenix Alternative Video Reviewer

	Cast: David Handsome, Romeo Chambord, Aiden Bonini, Feti Chist, Sean Longlay, Chris Barton, Mike Power, Korben David, Darkskin, Luc Lemaitre; non-sexual, Jon Janes. Directed by Jean-Marc Prouveur for Liquid London.
	U.S. distribution, Oh Man! Studios, 8424-A Santa Monica Blvd. #743, West Hollywood, CA 90069. Toll-free orders 800-600-7505. Internet www.OhManStudios.com.
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Director Jean-Marc Prouveur is a director whose name always causes me to prick up my ears. He is never predictable nor is his work ever ordinary. He takes risks with story lines and with casting that most directors avoid, and more often that not he produces compellingly erotic works that are also gorgeously art-directed.
    In Lord of Milking, he combines two familiar porn themes into a single story: the guys whose car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, leading to sexual (mis)adventures and a ghost story. And yes, "milking" refers to exactly what you are probably thinking it does.
    Romeo Chambord and Aiden Bonini are boyfriends on vacation whose car is about to break down in a remote part of the Scottish countryside. The story is narrated by Jon Janes, about whom you may later wonder how he came to know this tale and still be alive to tell it.
    The country manor that Romeo and Aiden are about to discover is inhabited by an old leather master, Luc Lemaitre, and his servant Darkskin, who provides both domestic and sexual services. Luc and Darkskin have just finished having sex when the travelers, who have picked up a hitchhiker, David Handsome, knock on the manor door after the vehicle breaks down.
    Master and servant respond to the knocking in the nude, and the three travelers, who are wet from a downpour, don't bat an eye as they enter. David is given a room, and Romeo and Aiden are given another. Everyone immediately gets naked — David to sleep and the boyfriends to fuck. Luc spies on them: the crucifix on the outside of the guest room doors swivels away to reveal a peephole.
    Feti Chist is the ghost of the manor. He materializes in David's room to suck him and ride his cock, except that every time David stirs or partially wakes, he finds himself alone, thinking he is having a wet dream.
    At dinner, the guests are presented with a black grail filled with cream — the only dish that is set on the dining room table. Luc and Darkskin demonstrate that the cream is to be eaten, and its effect is that of both aphrodisiac and hallucinogen. An orgy commences, but after the climaxes, the three visitors find themselves naked in the dining room, wondering how they came to be that way.
    Romeo goes snooping the next morning, and discovers that the master is keeping men imprisoned in chains, in various rooms of the manor. He frees Mike Power and Korben David, who are pissing on the floor of their cell, while the ghost visits Romeo's still-sleeping boyfriend. To Romeo's surprise, Korben and David do not flee, but they attack each other sexually, evaporating after they are spent. Romeo then follows the master to another cell, where Chris Barton and Sean Longlay are chained. Again, he frees the captives, who attack each other sexually, climax, and evaporate. This scene is interesting because the models have their wrists manacled together throughout the scene.
    That's enough for Romeo, He grabs David and Aiden and they hightail it for the car. (Last time we saw it, it wouldn't run.) Bad decision: they end up chained to the wall of yet another room in the master's dungeon. Just in case there was any doubt about what "milking" refers to, Luc demonstrates it graphically with David in the closing sequence, with Darkskin fluffing the men in preparation to being milked.
    Fun-house mirror special effects add to the murky atmosphere. I did not like the way that multiple sex scenes took place simultaneously, with the editor jumping back and forth between the scenes, and I did not like the fake-looking cum shots, where you see something white and viscous falling on to someone's body without seeing its origin.
    The DVD has contact information, cumshots, trailers, photo gallery.

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