The House of Morecock: The Animated Misadventures of Jonas Morecock
a review by Onan the Vulgarian
Best of Phoenix Alternative Video Reviewer
rating
The House of Morecock Animated and directed by Joe Phillips.
Greenwood Cooper & AVA Home Video. Wholesale and retail inquiries, 800-650-6252, ext. 231. Internet www.360westmedia.com, www.thehouseofmorecock.com.
Click here to purchase.

The House of Morecock is an animated, hardcore spoof of gayporn, which is as fiendishly hilarious as it is sexy. Jonas Morecock, a bleached-blond sex pup who lives in a spooky gothic mansion, travels the world in search of sexual adventures, most of which involve the supernatural or paranormal.
    His adventures are bookended by live-action black-and-white footage (directed by Lance Black) in which two gay boyfriends straight out of an Abercrombie & Fitch ad spend their Saturday morning watching a XXX cartoon marathon.
    An unseen but avuncular narrator introduces "the talented and versatile" (he likes it on his knees and on his back) Jonas, whom we first see whacking off while he waits for the UPS man to deliver a new hard drive for his computer. Actually, there are two delivery men, and they arrive just in time for one of them to get an eyeful of splooge. Jonathan makes up to them by demonstrating his versatility.
    In the next episode Jonas meets the Loch Ness monster, but not before getting schtupped by a kilted Scotsman he finds jerking off by the loch. Jonas offers to lend a hand, but is rebuffed by "I've already got two; can't you come up with something else?"
    Other misadventures involve a ghostly young miner; Jonas entertaining the 7th Fleet; an encounter with the Chupacabra in Mexico; and a search for Bigfoot in the Pacific Northwest. ("You know what they say, big feet, big ...")
    Jonas also gets abducted by aliens, who catch him masturbating and are fascinated by his porno movies and sex toys. On their spacecraft, the aliens possess the anal probe of all time, but Jonas' anticipation is dashed when he is rescued by FBI agents Mully and Sculder (both male), who double-fuck him to a spontaneous orgasm and whose own crossfire cumshots make an "X" which hovers in the air — a sight gag that may be less successful in 2007 than it was in 2001 when the VHS version was released. In a final sight gag, the alien craft departs, leaving behind crop circles in the shape of an enormous squirting cock.
    "Gogeerah" is an adventure in a Japanese bathhouse, where a demure blue-haired Japanese boy (with a yummy cartoon butt) asks to join Jonas in the hot tub and Jonas wonders, "How many ways can I say yes without seeming like a whore?" Throw in a couple of classic Japanese movie monsters for local color.
    Jonas goes in search of Moby Dick, choosing an all-gay sea cruise ("One dick is as good as another"), participating in an orgy on deck, and trysting with the recreation director. They do the Leo DiCaprio-Kate Winslett Titanic thing on the bow of the ship, and Jonas falls overboard. He's washed ashore and spotted by a hunky redheaded mer-man, who lusts for him in song and dance, accompanied by an underwater hip-hop chorus consisting of a purple drag-queen fish, bongo-playing octopus and dancing starfish and seahorses. The mer-man buys a magic spell which makes him human long enough for a flip-flop fuck, turning back into a mer-man before Jonas' gobsmacked eyes. When the cruise ship rescues Jonas and he tells his mer-man story, the guys jump overboard, doing a Busby Berkley number in the ocean.
    Back at home, Jonas is masturbating (again) in the shower, fantasizing about Bel-Ami boys, when the shower curtain is ripped aside. Thinking it's the ghost of Norman Bates, Jonas collapses in a faint, a slow whirlpool of his jism spinning down the drain, in a hilarious send-up of the famous Psycho shot. Jonas knocks himself out and dreams he is in Limbo, with a devil and an angel fighting for possession of his soul. They end up in a sandwich fuck (the devil in the middle) and Jonas awakes to hovering paramedics.
    The cartoon marathon over, we return to our A&F lads, who click the TV off and jump each other's bones — with one final sight gag saved for the end.
    The House of Morecock succeeds on every level, whether you watch it as animated erotica or for the biting wit. This one is a definite keeper.
    The DVD has behind the scenes, sketches, trailer, Web link, interview with creator Joe Phillips.

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