Rocks & Hard Places (2-DVD set) a review by Onan the Vulgarian Best of Phoenix Alternative Video Reviewer

	Cast: Jean Franko, Victor Souza, Gregoire Chevalier, Viktor Vesely, Alexandro Gonzalez, Tommy Alvarez, Alex Ferrari, Lucas Lucky, Oldrich Smile, Roland Brinski, Thomas Hrebec, Rocky Oliveira, David Vega, Sergio del Castillo, Matthias Vannelli, Rodrigo Ferrais, Eloy Martinez, Tibor Cernan, Marco Hansom, Tomas Sebastiani, Carlos Montenegro, Peter Stallion, Fernando Marques, Maurico Goldstein, Honza Kozel, Rocko Magnus, David Salazar, Adam Rosa, Lucas Rocha, Carlos Caballero. Directed by Kristen Bjorn.
	Kristen Bjorn Productions, PMB 213, 2520 SW 22nd St., Suite 2, Miami, FL 33145. Online orders www.kristenbjorn.com.

Next year will mark the 20th anniversary of Kristen Bjorn's first film, Tropical Heatwave. It was among the first gay porn films I ever reviewed, and in the ensuing years, Bjorn has challenged my wit, my imagination and my vocabulary like no other director.
    To say his new film, Rocks & Hard Places, breaks no new ground is like saying "Starry Night" is just another Van Gogh. The setup is this: Jean Franko and Rocko Magnus are boyfriends who set out in the car for a vacation. Because Jean forgot to fill the gas tank, they get stranded in a remote rural location. Jean goes off in search of gas. His sexual adventures while seeking petrol and, to a lesser degree, Rocko's sexual adventures while waiting for Jean to return provide the framework for the film's eight sex scenes. Each disc is well over two hours in length, not including extras.
    There are four scenes on each DVD, with as few as three models and as many as six per scene. No single scene is as visually stunning as the milk bath from Fire Dance or is as sexually provocative as the shower of jism from overhead, also from Fire Dance, that greets the visitors to the chateau. But there's no end of stunning men — 30 of them — and scenic pastoral locations, both indoors and out.
    As in every Bjorn film, the jism flows nearly nonstop for the film's five hours, a great many of the models are sexually versatile, and the carnal enthusiasm for everything — sucking, fucking, kissing, rimming — is so great and contagious that you'd never accuse any of them of being gay for pay.
    With Bjorn, you can also depend on sex that goes on forever, with endless grouping and regrouping, athletic positions and at least one brilliantly captured double-penetration. The international cast represents some of the most physically perfect specimens of the male body to be found on the planet. Bjorn no longer employs the tag line "the world's most beautiful men," but he still employs the world's most beautiful men, among them Onan's 2006 pick for hottest man on the planet, Rocky Oliveria (Ribeiro); the devastatingly handsome main character, Jean Franko; and arresting newcomer Gregoire Chevalier.
    There's no one better than Bjorn at imagining, and then creating, a world in which "sex happens," and happens perfectly.
    The 2-DVD set is available now by mail from kristenbjorn.com or TLA Video. A shorter (by 45 minutes) retail version will be in stores in May. Each DVD has contact information, cumshots, photos, behind the scenes and a Web link.

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