Ruffneck Relapse

a review by Onan the Vulgarian
Best of Phoenix Alternative Video Reviewer

	Cast: E-Money, Adrien, Alejandro, Xavier, Dolo, G.Q., Homicide, Panther, Tariq, Q. T., G-Money. Directed by Brian Brennan.
	Latino Fan Club. Internet orders www.latinofanclub.com.
	Click here to purchase.

In 2004's Ruffneck Rehab, Latino Fan Club invented L.O.A.D., a halfway house for Latinos recovering from drug and alcohol abuse issues, which they treated with lots of sex. L.O.A.D., which stands for Latinos Overcoming Another Day, smacks hilariously of both PMS (Poor Me Syndrome) and existential angst.
    Three years later, Alejandro is still in charge at L.O.A.D., but he has a whole new house full of guys. Ruffneck Relapse tells the story. Sexy Xavier, for example, is new and still learning the rules — like, you can't walk around in your briefs with half a hardon. Xavier is so hot that G.Q. plans to molest him in the kitchen when they are interrupted by Alejandro. Instead of joining what might have been a hot three-way, Alejandro dispenses a lecture on the rules and no sex happens.
    There's more action elsewhere on the premises, when hardhat worker Panther comes into Homicide's office to hang a picture. When Panther has to climb on the desk, Homicide ogles his butt, strips him in his mind's eye, then figures what the hell and strips him for real. Panther is a small dude with a big uncut cock that Homicide sucks to climax while jerking off onto the floor.
    Q.T. comes in to say goodbye to E-Money, who's ready to return to the world. But Q.T. is not going to let E-Money go before finding why he's been such a cocktease during his stay. E-Money is one of those straight boys who knows he's hot and can't resist driving the gay boys wild, but he relents and lets G.Q. have his wish, which is to get his throat and ass reamed out by E-Money's cock.
    Dolo, the model with all the tats and face metal on the DVD cover, is watching straight porn online. He leaves a huge and sticky load on the floor for the next guy who wants to use the computer.
    We finally meet up with Xavier and G.Q. again in the rec room. Xavier is watching straight porn and jacking off, and now he's ready to give G.Q. what G.Q. wanted to take earlier in the kitchen. Alejandro is still snooping around too, and he comes into the room to watch G.Q. giving Xavier a foamy blow job. This time, instead of lecturing, Alejandro strips and joins them. He participates in the sucking (Xavier doesn't) and everyone jerks off.
    E-Money finds an apartment with handsome Adrien, another guy who wants his body. This is an odd scene that begins with lots of hands-on body worship by Adrien. E-Money is so remote, and his attention is so rigidly fixed off-camera, that it detracts from the scene. Ultimately, E-Money gets a good blow job and he fucks his roommate with all the passion of a Stepford wife or one of the clones from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. With even a teensy bit of onscreen warmth from E-Money, this scene would have been a firecracker.
    "First time for everything" is the argument Tariq uses to talk G-Money into trying it with a guy. G-Money is almost as remote as E-Money; he even interrupts his blow job to get up and change the porn DVD that he's watching while Tariq sucks him. Doesn't seem to bother Tariq, who settles for what G-Money is willing to give him, orally and anally, and who doesn't even get an orgasm out of the deal.
    Overall, Ruffneck Relapse promises more than it delivers. It has a hot cast, but they don't deliver enough of what viewers — this viewer, anyway — want to see.
    The DVD has previews.

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